You are sitting at a desk or table filled with a computer, papers, pen, etc. Across from you are windows, or perhaps sliding glass doors, looking out to the outside. There, occupied in some endeavor of their own, is that special someone who you know loves you. It has come to that time in the book you are writing to describe this very character. You sit back, looking at them, musing to yourself as you let the possibilities form of how to describe this person in words — how to capture and express in words that which makes them unique, the words which would allow a reader to see them as you do. So you describe to yourself the idiosyncratic gestures, words, looks, and behaviors that make this person who they are: their humor, passion, intellect, foolishness, blind spots, strengths and weaknesses; the small and the global that coalesce into making that person unique in all the world. You listen to your own description, feeling the feelings that come and move through you as you are watching them on the other side of the glass.
As your description draws to a close, you quietly change positions and perceptions. You float out of your place there at the desk, and you float outside and enter into the person on the other side of the glass — becoming that person who loves you. From there, your eyes look up from the activity in which you have been so engrossed, and you see yourself sitting there working on a book. You see yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you; seeing for the first time what someone who loves you sees as they look at you. Listening closely, you hear your own gestures, words, and looks described by someone who loves you. Seeing yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you, you recognize qualities and attributes which were unknown, or perhaps viewed as faults by your own eyes. Viewing yourself through the thoughts, perceptions, and memories of someone who loves you, you find yourself to be someone to love — someone who enriches another by the simple act of being yourself. You hear and see what it is about you this person cherishes. Holding close all that is worth knowing, you slowly come back into your own being, remembering who you are to someone who loves you.
That’s an excerpt from Steve Andreas blog. He provides a process, “Looking at Yourself through the Eyes of Someone Who Loves You”, excerpted from Leslie Cameron-Bandler’s book, Solutions: practical and effective antidotes for sexual and relationship problems. He also provides a technique to use with yourself and to use with others.
The Native American advice to walk a mile in another man's moccasins is good advice for anyone wishing to improve a relationship. Put yourself in the other person's shoes and view the relationship from their perspective. Do you like what you see and feel?
What is valuable about this exercise?
Feeling loved and lovable.
One of the nice things about Byron Katie’s work is dealing with the statements of others. “You are single so there is something wrong with YOU.” Is that true? No. Reality is what is happening at this very instant. You are simply single. Period! Now you are empowered.
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ~ Mark Twain
I found this prayer from “Miracles in Prayer, 150 Prayers for Everyday Living”(LINK here), a. free e-book from Robin Duncan
Finding a Love Relationship
Dear God, I‟d like to have a loving companion to share my life with. I accept that it is Your will to bring me happy experiences that fill my heart with joy. If I am not experiencing my joyful desires, then it must be that somewhere in my mind and heart, I have decided against You. Perhaps I thought You weren‟t listening, or maybe that I‟m not good enough or attractive enough, or perhaps I thought it just wasn‟t possible. Whatever the case, I‟m willing to surrender all of those thoughts and fears to You and ask that You heal them for me. I deserve happiness, companionship and fulfillment because these gifts are my natural inheritance as given by You. Thank You, in advance, for healing my mind and blessing me with the most amazing, peaceful, loving, lasting, romantic, connected and harmonious relationship I could ever imagine. In gratitude, I accept Your loving gifts. Thy will be done. Amen